Thanksgiving: A Time To Reflect And Think Positive
by Belinda Dronkers-Laureta on November 24th, 2011

Keeping Families Together

The Asian And Pacific Islander Family Pride Blog

November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving: A Time To Reflect And Think Positive


We hope your Thanksgiving turned out the way you wanted it to turn out. Ours did, a nice cozy dinner followed by an evening for reflecting on things we are thankful for. We have much to be thankful for and concentrate on that, because it won’t do to dwell on disappointments. Outside the weather is nippy and wet, inside it is warm and dry and it is a reflective holiday. This is not the day for thinking of things that didn’t work out and work that still must be done. We’ll do that again starting Monday.

Successes On An National And State Level

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is history and we hope will be used as an example of a dumb policy. Six states, the District of Columbia, and two Indian tribes allow same sex marriages. In a number of states the issue is up for a referendum vote and LGBT rights are sure to have a prominent place in the 2012 elections. Some of our friends fear that the outcomes will set us back, but we are delighted that the relentless pushing and shoving got us on ballots and in the courts. The immediate outcome may not be as we wish, but there is no doubt about the eventual result. The tide is turning in our favor as polls show a steady increase in Americans’ realization that something is amiss when so many of their countrymen still have to struggle to be included in America’s promise of “everybody is equal and has inalienable rights.”

Successes On An Individual Level

The battles on the federal and state level and their successful outcomes are necessary for without them we have no footing. But laws and rules and regulations do not change hardcore, antagonistic minds. That work requires hard work at the root. The results of what API Family Pride does are seen and felt at a personal level. When a son or daughter calls us and asks for help and intervention we know that our community has found us and that we are here to help. And when the help and intervention have positive outcomes, the satisfaction that comes from knowing we played a part energizes us to continue. The best moments come, though, when in the course of a workshop or talking to visitors to our Wall of Pride exhibit we can see an insight sparking in the eyes of parents. Then we know we have reached another parent and maybe the family stays together and maybe he or she will tell another parent.

We are grateful for having the opportunity to help, to be part of a struggle that will see our son and his friends and his whole community and all API LGBT people and all LGBT people be treated as persons.

Belinda and John Dronkers-Laureta are board members of Asian & Pacific Islander Family Pride


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